My husband and I have been married for about five years, great relationship, best friends and all that good stuff. We have sex MUCH less frequently than I would like to, but when we do it’s pretty amazing, so I can’t really complain there.
When I was using our shared computer the other day, I saw that he had viewed some porn, which doesn’t bother me, and I frequently view it myself… In fact it turned me on. He doesn’t really divulge fantasies to me, so I was excited in more ways than one to see what kind of stuff he liked. I got so into it that was about to handle things for myself when I noticed his very specific search for ‘small tits’. Ok, so some days I’m into different things depending the mood and I know that he may be the same. No biggie. Then, however, I start to notice a theme in the porn he viewed. Tiny little boobies everywhere! Not a single busty gal like myself. Not even an averagely boobied lady. I brushed it off, but it kept popping into my head later on that day and I could feel my self esteem just turning to shit when I realized that every single one of his exes were small chested.
I have no doubt that my husband loves me, and he’s an amazing husband. I don’t even want to mention this to him because he didn’t do anything wrong and so there’s really nothing for me to say.. I’m just feeling so disgusting and unattractive every time it pops into my head because aside from a reduction, there’s nothing I can do to fill this fetish or love of his. All my life I’ve had men gawking at my breasts and it’s just difficult realizing that those aren’t what he wants. I always thought he wasn’t much of a boob guy, but I guess it’s just MY boobs he isn’t into.
Let’s start with the important part: Your husband loves your boobs. LOVES them.
He also loves small boobs. And, since he gets to enjoy your amazing large breasts to his heart’s content, he looks at small boobs as a way to get a little bit of the strange. That’s all there is to it.
When I’m dating girls that have nice big asses, I scratch the itch by watching petite girls. When I’m dating a Daisy Duke style blonde, I’ll watch asians girls overact their way to orgasm. Most guys I’ve talked to are the same way.
So, it IS about you, just not in the way you think. Porn is used to fulfill fantasies and sate sexual urges. If you had a perky B cup, his history would be nothing but girls with breasts like beach balls getting slapped around a Skynyrd concert, and you would feel like you didn’t measure up because you were too small.
The reality is that unless his history was full of girls that looked just like you, you could find something to feel inferior about. You wouldn’t be blonde enough, shaved enough, loud enough, quiet enough, insert-any-adjective-at-all enough.
He loves you, he’s with you, but if you really want to test it out, tell him you’re considering getting a breast reduction.
Watch the panic in his eyes.